This Love

Truth be told, I did not fall into love, nor did I go out to find it.

The reality is that love sought me out, and I felt safe enough to step into it.

I was operating under the preconceived notion that love was mine to seek out, not that love was something I was supposed to surrender to.

The act of surrendering to love involved my willingness to follow not only His lead, but his lead.

It required me to trust and let my guard down.

Love gave me space to grow into my femininity. Love made it okay to smile with every tooth showing. Love filled me with a confidence I had never experienced before. Love polished the rough exterior and made it easier for my natural glow to shine through. Love eased a lot of the pain.

Love did not consider me weak for wanting to defer to him before making a decision.

It gave me respite on my worst days and gave me hope for my future.

Love became a sounding board for secrets, fears, and words that never had a space to be received before if said out loud.

Love let me know that all the good things my friends and family saw in me were really who I was, and not just them hyping me up out of obligation.

Speaking of obligation, this love is the opposite, because the opposite of obligation is freedom.

We are here because we want to be. In this love there is not only freedom, but this love has also allowed us to be truly free.

I do not want to exist in a world where this man is not my peace and my portion. Not one or the other, but both because this love has made me okay with being greedy. This love is about indulgence and fulfillment.

This love is not free of fault. It holds room for growth and improvement. In reality, this love is still teaching us about forgiveness, and one day it will teach us about grief.

Until then, I will embrace every facet of this love.

Thank you for finding me. Thank you for seeing the purpose in me. Thank you for making me your wife.

-Fallon Vaughn